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Howdy, Gang! Welcome to the online home of Horror Hosts and Creature Features Magazine!

Are you obsessed with macabre monsters, machete maidens, and morbid madmen? This is the place for you!  It’s a Horror Geek Lifestyle and we know many people are living it. We are a strange breed, but one of the most tightly knit communities in fandom! ‘Stay Tuned‘ for magazine updates, original art, and articles!

Alien

Cosmic FredBetter Viewing Through Cosmic Cognizance By Fred E. Frederick
(a.k.a. Cosmic Charlie)

Oh, hey folks, Fred here. So, uh, have you ever been abducted by aliens and thought it was really cool until they started putting cellophane on the toilet and fake spiders in your shoes? And then you’re like “ok guys, it was funny at first, but I really thought higher life forms such as yourselves would be beyond this” and then they’re all like “we’re just trying to entertain you, bro, ok? It’s not easy knowing exactly how much we should dumb down for you!” and it became this whole big deal, and so then, this great year long vacation you’ve been on with these totally chill aliens comes to an end because they apparently forgot they’ve gotta help their friend with this thing. Dudes, it was so weak. But whatever, I’m here, it’s earth, it’s 2016, and I just wanna put the past behind me. Ok, so which movie am I reviewing? Oh right… *sigh* Alien.159083960_c9e54eNo no no, I’m not bad mouthing one of the greatest horror movies of all time, but let me tell you something, they got a few things wrong. Nonetheless, I’m here to talk to you about an extraterrestrial and its heartwarming relationship to the humans woriginal-8641-1399975924-3ho discover it. Or, rather, less heartwarming, more heart wrenching, and then heart bursting. Yes, Alien, the film ‘bout a creature that physically resembles an insect, and emotionally resembles a cat. Made in the late 70s boom of sci-fi done right and with respect, this movie is good on practically every level. The acting, the writing, and most of all the art direction. This film also was, for most people, an introduction to visual artist and hero to goths everywhere, H.R. Giger.

When coming up with the design for their titular alien, Dan O’Bannon, screenwriter extraordinaire, introduced director Ridley Scott to the works of H.R. Giger, who Dan had become aware of while working on Alejandro Jodorowsky’s attempt at making a Dune movie, which ultimately fell through. As soon as Scott saw Giger’s work, he immediately knew what the Alien of his film would look like, as well as solving the other design problems of the film. Instead of working from scratch, they had Giger design the alien

hrgiger111

You see what you want to see

to almost exactly resemble one of his already existing paintings, despite the phallic-ness, as well making new art for designing all the visual aspects of the creature’s life cycle and the alien ship itself. It’s Giger’s designs that help define the film and make it stand out among other sci-fi films of it’s time.

Dan O’Bannon also hit a goldmine when he solved the script problem of getting their creature onto the Nostromo spaceship. The facehugger is as beloved a character as the fully formed alien that bursts out of our chests after gestation, after being laid there by said facehugger. From plush toys to freaky fetishes, that little guy has inspired lots of love and fear. But that’s enough of me gushing over the creative genius involved in this film, cause that’s boring. You don’t need me giving your little factoids

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Free Hugs

better left to the Bonus features, you need me telling you how much they changed the facts. That’s right folks, believe it or not, the whole movie is based on a completely true story, and it didn’t happen quite like the way you know it.

Imagine you have your house invaded by a bunch of aliens, who proceed to go into your nursery and disturb your sleeping children? Right? Now let’s say your child, OUT OF SELF DEFENSE, latches themselves onto one of those intruders’ faces? How are you going to blame the person whose house you are in for their children’s defensive actions against some invasive threats such as the elephant man just showing up, without make up, in some nonsensical inward light pointing space helmet? Not to mention Bilbo Baggins, Viper, The Repo Man, and two women with more alien problems between them than Donald Trump Alienhas made up in his head. Humans are ridiculous, as is the notion that Fred is dead and I’m an alien host living in his skin, so don’t even go there! Fact is, those humans got what they deserved, and I was cheering for that Xenomorph the whole time. How are you going to root for the majority, when the obviously oppressed “Alien” (so racist) is obviously the one with the disadvantage here. And then to insinuate that some sack of mostly water is gonna defeat my brother while she’s in her gross cotton human undergarmets? The only good part of this film was the cat, which the alien let live out of professional courtesy. I take back everything good I said about the human Dan O’bannon, for obviously he is a hack trying to cash in on the Xenophobia that has plagued my people, and when I say my people, I mean it in a cultural sense. I am not an alien, but I encourage you and your family to tune into OSI 74 nightly, so that we may better track your positions and monitor your brain waves. I mean, if we were into that sort of thing.

Also, ever wonder what a pinball machine with a cool alien on it would look like? Yeah, you don’t have to. *scoff* Space Invaders? What does that even mean? It’s not like we’re invading space. I mean, they are. I mean, I don’t know who they are, I swear.19926.si2

Lost in Time like a bug in a jar….

No matter where you go… there you are…


Sorry for our absence!
Where have we been? Well… that is a long story.

Sometime Mid-October 2015 the crew here at Horror Host Magazine got beamed to the far reaches of space — a place governed by a coven of underground television producers. We found ourselves at OUTER SPACE INTERNATIONAL, an “off world” production colony and distribution network bringing you unusual, experimental, and entertaining programs from many different creative worlds. 12279120_500182306828566_5555775538097286290_nNow we’re thinking beyond standard television and learning from the great pioneers of UHF, Home Video, and Early Cable that we grew up with. We’re also taking a bit of inspiration from Drive-In theaters, Backyard movies, Community media, Film festivals, Comic books, “Mom-N-Pop” video stores, and The Space Race.

Like it or not, this is the future of Cinema. We want you to be nostalgic about the future again.

11061654_428033147376816_710250624377578443_n“Bigger than TV”

Our channel,4 OSI 74 is streaming content On Demand via the internet. We officially launched at 7:40 PM EST on Friday October 30th 2015— we have original programming and series for you to view now.  Sneak Previews, Trailers, Special Announcements, The Program Guide, and Random Nonsense will run before and after the scheduled content.  Our content can also be viewed in Television households via ROKU streaming devices.

11217543_477487169098080_1965214176332087896_n11263112_429551300558334_3782903653306140721_nWe encourage outside producers to own and control their content as well as making new content collectively for the channel to distribute. Series Producers not only have a home with us to present their content, they are also granted advertising spots in the schedule to promote their projects and monetize their work. We provide support and cross promotion to our producers to build their audience and find people, like you, who want this kind of programming.

“Beyond Horror, besides Sci-Fi, beneath Comedy, and betwixt Mysteries–OSI 74 delivers programs for smart viewers with a taste for the absurd.”1450237_425492024297595_917834852834454820_n

We will have fundraisers for both the channel and the individual producers as well as our own crowd sourcing engine we call TIP JAR that will be promoted on the channel and the website. 100% of what goes in your TIP JAR goes to that producer. We will also support our producers Patreon and Kickstarter campaigns as well as any attempts to be self-sustaining. We will offer “on-demand” videos and downloads of certain shows on our server in exchange for a share of the revenue. OSI also distributes DVDs and other merchandising of certain shows as well as for the network as a whole. This is a bold new venture and and we are making new discoveries everyday. Thank you for taking this journey with us…

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31 Days of Halloween Music Mix Volume 7

This day marks one week of back to back Halloween Music Mixes! Day 7 of Devin Cönnörs’ and Myles Arden’s 31 days of Halloween music project! Today is the seventh of October, so it’s the seventh day of mixes — Killer on the Loose: Escaped From The Ward. To download the mix CLICK HERE and Follow their Tumblr for future mixes and Halloween inspired content!

31 Days of Halloween Music Mix Volume 2

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Yesterday we posted about Devin Cönnörs’ and Myles Arden’s 31 days of Halloween music project and shared their first volume of the season, SCORE RETURNS. Today is the second of October, so it’s the second day of mixes — FULL MOON: THE CURSE. To download the mix CLICK HERE and Follow their Tumblr for future mixes and Halloween inspired content!

Return of the 31 Days of Halloween Music Mixes: Volume 1

31DOH15 Score ReturnsThey have done it again! For all 31 Days In October Devin Cönnörs and Myles Arden post One 10 track volume of Halloween Music to keep your addiction thriving & strong! They cover every music style — no genre is denied entry from these compilations! Today is the first of October, so it’s the first day of mixes —SCORE RETURNS. To download the mix CLICK HERE and Follow their Tumblr for future mixes and Halloween inspired content!

Just when I thought everyone forgot about Twilight…

While we were setting up at a convention recently I noticed a rather large decal on the back of another vender’s truck that read “LOST BOYS DON’T SPARKLE”… Which perplexed me because I was pretty sure no one even cared about Twilight anymore… Then I saw another couple of memes posted on social media and learned that, apparently, it’s still an issue…

So, in an effort to educate the pop-culture ignorant, I present you you and article I wrote:
(Two years ago… when it was still relevant)


Lost Boys Vs. Twilight

lost boysI know that in a world full of stupid internet memes it’s hard to believe that these are a couple of the stupidest and least thought out memes that I’ve ever seen…

I want to start out by saying The Lost Boys is one of my favorite movies.


But lets take a minute to think about this film in depth.

Michael Emerson (yeah, the guy from Solarbabies) and his younger brother, Sam (The late Teen-Idol, Corey Haim), move with their recently divorced mother, Lucy, to a beach community in California. Sam decorates his room like a 12 year old girl complete with a sexy poster of Rob Lowe. The brothers begin hanging out on the Boardwalk, which is inhabited by punks and mysterious smooth young boys with Aqua Net encrusted hair and excessively long eyelashes — Not to mention the concerts featuring oiled down muscle men with silky hair playing saxophones like rugged manly men. We’re introduced to David (The super dreamy Kiefer Sutherland). David is the almost angelic and statuesque leader of a local gang. Meanwhile, Sam buddies up brothers Edgar and Alan Frog, a pair of self-proclaimed vampire hunters, who give him horror comics to teach him about young romance… er I mean vampires.

Michael is approached by David, who uses his bedroom eyes to convince him to follow them by motorcycle down the beach until they reach a dangerous cliff. At the gang’s cushy clubhouse David initiates Michael into the group, having him drink from a bottle of wine. The next day, Michael develops a thirst for blood and Mascara.
This initiates some zany vampire slaying antics including steaking Ted from “Bill and Ted” who explodes with glistening glittery blood. Everyone leaves the clubhouse covered in glitter. Sparkly blood. Once more, when the vampires die, they bleed glitter. Um…. need I go on?

I’ve never seen Twilight but attacking it using The Lost Boys is about as effective as using, say, the 80’s boy band New Kids on the Block to attack the newest flavor of the month One DirectionIT’S THE SAME THING.In our case it’s a bunch of sexy, effeminate, romantic vampires being marketed at teenaged girls while ignoring traditional vampire tropes and creating new ones. If you’re not interested in a romantic vampire movie made for young women, don’t watch Twilight, but you’re no better for watching The Lost Boys.

In most cases we’re dealing with is people not so much arguing about quality of movies but jumping on a bandwagon and having these imaginary arguments about apples and oranges, and in this case it’s apples and slightly older apples.
What we all must try and remember that it’s just as pretentious to hate something because it’s popular as it is to like it because it’s popular. Goodnight Ladies and Gentlemen and even gentler men… er… vampires?


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near_dark_bill_paxtonCan we just agree that there is more studly vampirism in Bill Paxton’s diastema than there is in all of these boy’s fangs put together? Because, if you’re looking for the ultimate violent and macho vampire flick that you can watch on date night, you need look no further than NEAR DARK.


Since I am a glutton for punishment, I put together a small gallery of some other memes I found after a 2 minute google search. You’re welcome.


I also found this which is either really hilarious, or unrelentingly stupid:
58d9e9336f8433971282091623058ad5Don’t even get me started on Buffy The Vampire Slayer.