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Trick or Treat

HO-LY COW!!! Folks, we’re in Halloween Week right now, and while we all get to feel like a broken clock at 6:30 (a REALLY broken clock), here’s an extra spooky review of the 1986 Trick Or Treat heavy-metal-themed horror movie, with cameos from both OZZY and Gene Simmons(that together, don’t total more than 5 minutes, but it was enough to inspire a 2002 DVD cover photos)! Horrible re-release covers aside, this film earns the tag “horrible” on its own. Or maybe we can just call it misunderstood.

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Trick Or Treat is the kind of movie made with a teenage mentality, similar to Corey Haim in License To Drive, where, “hey, isn’t it really cool how stupid and antagonizing I am? It’s the eighties and us teenagers live in the future, while our parents are so lame!” You know, the Pepsi Generation. It’s one of those movies like the Brad Pitt early venture Cutting Class, where they just took a common phrase and made a movie around it, plus a bunch of entitlement issues they mistaking labeled as “teen angst.”

Anyways, this Columbine wannabe, Eddie Weinbauer, has unrealistically abrasive bullies busting his chops. It seems like some sort of rational decision to report their obvious infringements on school policies, but instead he takes the humiliation like some masochist and goes home to cry and listen to his recently deceased favorite hair metal rock star Sammi Curr. Just moments after finishing a letter to Sammi, in which he writes his aching heart out, Eddie finds out Sammi had died in a fire. So Eddie gets the acetate disc (music buffs, you can rejoice knowing that your awareness of what an acetate disc is has finally paid off, but despair over the fact that I’m just going to explain it anyways, since nobody knows what the hell it is), which is the first single pressing of a record before it’s mass produced, made to just check it’s all good and ready to go, of Sammi Curr’s last unreleased album, “Songs in the Key Of Death” (Stevie would roll around in his grave if he were dead).

A radio DJ named Nuke (cue 2 minute Gene Simmons cameo) just happens to give this priceless object to some kid who hangs around the local rock station occasionally, instead of having a life. So then Eddie goes home, and like any good 80s teenage moron, decides to play the record backwards. Now, we all know that when you do this, it invokes the dark beast to return to our realm and wreak havoc on the sinners above, HOWEVER this film suggests that instead, Sammi Curr is resurrected though this heinous act, and is now going to use his power to do a few things: 1) He’s going to help this kid with his bully problem by almost murdering a bully in front of Eddie, 2) He’s going to crash a high school dance and be the front man for the crappy band that’s playing, and 3) He’s going to kill everyone, starting with the students at this random high school, and that kid he was helping before.

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But it’s only when you play the record backwards that Sammi can come out to kill you. And the record is destroyed, and now so is the tape that this idiot made of the record playing backwards. But, OH WAIT, Didn’t Nuke say he was going to play the record at midnight on Halloween? We’ve gotta stop him! Those of you paying attention are going “but, it doesn’t matter, it has to be played backwards,” but Nuke just has a taped recording of his broadcast (guess Gene didn’t wanna do another scene) AND he just happened to decide to play the record backwards, YA KNOW, FOR WHATEVER REASON!!! Also, Ozzy pops up as a minister decrying the evils of Heavy Metal music in what turns out to be the best minute of the whole movie. And yeah, you can’t understand a bleeping thing he says.

So what, did I give in and finally review a bad movie, or am I just having a bad day? Naw, the film has its moments, like when the one house has a mirror over the fireplace, and a brown chair, with a desk with a built-in lamp next to it that was pretty much exactly like my grandparent’s house. There’s also a funny joke about a toilet. BUT THAT’S IT. Watch at your own risk.

 

DISMEMBER THE ALAMO Was A Night to Remember!

 By Dixie Dellamorto10687167_10152799376633653_7658721263167031908_n

First of all I want to warn you that I’m running on empty as I’m writing this post, but I had such a good time that I just have to get it all out while it’s still fresh for me. Really – Mr. Lobo and I had such a blast at DISMEMBER THE ALAMO last night! In case you missed it, check out the animated ad by Tom Barndt!

The lineup was amazing. The first film of the night was NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (1986) staring the red-blooded resolute stud: Tom AtkinsCreeps. The film is delightfully 80’s and is about an alien experiment gone terribly wrong, resulting in slug-like brain parasites who enter  through the mouth, turning dumb jocks into bloodthirsty zombie-like incubation stations who happen to invade on the night of the Formal… sort of. Actually there is so much going on in this movie that I’ve yet to read a synopsis that does it any justice. Needless to say, this is one of our favorite films and we even celebrated by building a realistic looking flame thrower and pinning a bunch of black slugs to a prom dress for my costume:Untitled-1The second film we had the supreme pleasure of hosting also stars the well-built two-fisted beefcake Tom Atkins and co-stars the delicate and radiantly beautiful Stacey Nelkin the film, of course, was HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH(1982).halloween-iii-season-of-the-witch-dvd-cover-13
halloween_3_01This film is dear to our hearts but largely unappreciated as the classic it truly is. Season of the Witch is a fun popcorn flick about an alcoholic doctor (Atkins) who, with the help of the grieving daughter (Nelkin) of a deceased patient, uncovers a conspiracy to sacrifice children in a druid ritual devised by a toy-making warlock who runs large Halloween mask-making company.
Yes you read that right.

If you’re a horror fan (which we’re guessing you probably are if you’re reading this) you may know that this movie catches a lot of flack for deviating from the story of the babysitter stalking maniac Michael Myers. In fact a lot of people down right HATE this film. To these people I say: I’m sorry that someone tried to put some magic in your life. I’m Sorry that someone tried to put some more Halloween spirit in the franchise. And I’m sorry that you can’t just enjoy a genuinely fun movie.

I hope you're happy.

I hope you’re happy.

I kind of think of Michael Myers and Jason are one trick ponies and I still have a hard time understanding how these kinds of slasher movies have such extensive franchises since every film is exactly the same and if it’s not more of the “same stalking and killing unsuspecting babysitters/camp counselors” the fans have a conniption fit. But what the hell do I know? I really liked Jason X.

Whoa, I kind of got off track there… Lets get back to the show:

The real treat of the evening wasn’t the root beer float I drank, no the real cherry on top of the evening was sitting with Miss Stacey Nelkin and watching her stellar performance in Season of the Witch followed by a Q&A between Stacey and Mr. Lobo. Lobo challenged the audience to come up with good questions and they did rise to the occasion making it both informative and entertaining. After the Q&A the staff of the Alamo handed out free posters for all the attendees and Mr. Lobo and Stacey signed autographs during the intermission. A couple of people even asked me to sign their posters and some artwork I had for sale!

Lobo and StaceyI was so struck by Stacey — She was so beautiful and generous with the fans and I feel truly blessed to have met her.

After Intermission Mr. Lobo introduced the next movie. The rest of the line up, I must admit was a bit of a disappointment only because the rest of the films don’t feature the ultra-masculine, virile, and hard-boiled Tom Atkins… Luckily they’re great otherwise! The-Monster-Squad-movie-posterSo our third film was THE MONSTER SQUAD (1987)! An excellent flick starting a bunch of spunky and good-looking youngsters. The movie is about A group of kids who are united by their love of monsters. Soon after forming a club they are pitted against the likes of Count Dracula, the Wolfman, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy, and a Gillman. The kids have to work together to stop Dracula from using an ancient amulet that will allow him to take over the world.
This movie is pure 80’s fun all the way through, but I stayed in the lobby and chatted with some fans who were milling around and ordering drinks. I had a great time meeting new people and talking to fans from way back. Everyone was just so nice, but around this time Stacey was retiring to the hotel and I thought I should probably take that opportunity to sneak away myself. Lobo walked us back like a true gentleman and at the Hotel we rated the pumpkin carving contest set up in the lobby. Lobo returned to the theater to host the final film of the night: Night of the Comet (1984Night-of-the-Comet) about A girl who chooses to stay inside at the theater where she works when most everyone else is outside viewing a rare comet which incidentally wipes out most of life on Earth in it’s wake. The girl and her sister must find a way to survive amid other less savory survivors. Another fine 80’s movie with a true cult following. People LOVE this movie and for a good reason — it’s exquisite! I regret not having the energy to stick with it and watch this final film but I’m pretty sure if I had stayed I would have turned into a Pumpkin for sure — and at this time of year? That’s dangerous stuff!

 

Finally I really want to thank Steve Nerangis and the Staff of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema in Winchester Virginia for throwing such a gratifying and entertaining event.

Also a special Thanks to Matt Burns for submitting some great photos!

31 Days of Halloween Music Mix Volume 25 and 26

Do to our appearance at DISMEMBER THE ALAMO we missed day 25 of Devin Cönnörs and Myles Arden 31 days of Halloween music project. Today is the twenty-sixth of October, and since we missed the twenty-fifth we bring you the twenty-fifth and twenty-sixth day of mixes:25 26Horror themes from the 40’s and horror themes from the 50s. To download the mixes CLICK HERE and Follow their Tumblr for future mixes and Halloween inspired content! Also check out their Facebook page!

31 Days of Halloween – Snap! We missed a day!

We missed day 23 of Devin Cönnörs and Myles Arden 31 days of Halloween music project! We are the worst! Today is the twenty-fourth of October, and since we missed the twenty-third we bring you the twenty-third and twenty-forth day of mixes:2324Guantanamo’s Greatest Hits and horror themes from the 30s. To download the mixes CLICK HERE and Follow their Tumblr for future mixes and Halloween inspired content! Also check out their new Facebook page!