Category: Movie and TV Show Reviews
Just when I thought everyone forgot about Twilight…
While we were setting up at a convention recently I noticed a rather large decal on the back of another vender’s truck that read “LOST BOYS DON’T SPARKLE”… Which perplexed me because I was pretty sure no one even cared about Twilight anymore… Then I saw another couple of memes posted on social media and learned that, apparently, it’s still an issue… So, in an effort to educate the pop-culture ignorant, I present you you and article I wrote: (Two years ago… when it was still relevant) Lost Boys Vs. Twilight I know that in a world full of stupid…
House of the Devil
Hey, Remember the Eighties? Well, probably more than you remember Jim Breuer’s career (R.I.P.) but maybe also not at all, in which case do not fear, because me and today’s film in focus The House of the Devil (2009) are here to tell it like it is, or was, and shall be again? Haha, none of that now, I already made that joke in a previous review, and I don’t wanna start reusing old jokes here, because I don’t believe anyone should be recycling, unless you want the commies to win!!! This Review Is Based On A Real Movie. Follow…
Event Horizon
I love me some DOOM. As in, the 1993 video game that in 1995, was installed onto more computers than Windows 95 itself. Now, Event Horizon from 1997, starring Morpheus and the main dude from Jurassic Park, is absolutely nothing like the legendary video game DOOM, BUT… Event Horizon takes place near Pluto, back in the future when it was still a planet (get it?) and is the story of what happens when humans screw with portals and contact Hell. That’s where DOOM comes in, cause that’s what DOOM is all about. In fact, Event Horizon is…
Night Of The Creeps
When Zombies conquer the earth, will it be from a virus or a voodoo curse? Hell, maybe it turns out we all shoulda been eating kosher. So what about that other idea you had, the one about it being from alien slugs from space, that are slugs? Yeah, I know i know, you’ve seen them in every blockbuster movie, from The People vs. Larry Flynt to Man on the Moon and then, umm, well whatever else Courtney Love was in. But if you ask me, and you haven’t, but this little gremlin sleeping in my ears has, I think Night…
Trick or Treat
HO-LY COW!!! Folks, we’re in Halloween Week right now, and while we all get to feel like a broken clock at 6:30 (a REALLY broken clock), here’s an extra spooky review of the 1986 Trick Or Treat heavy-metal-themed horror movie, with cameos from both OZZY and Gene Simmons(that together, don’t total more than 5 minutes, but it was enough to inspire a 2002 DVD cover photos)! Horrible re-release covers aside, this film earns the tag “horrible” on its own. Or maybe we can just call it misunderstood. Trick Or Treat is the kind of movie made with a teenage mentality,…
Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil and The Cabin in the Woods: A Double Feature Review of 2 Postmodern Horror Examples
So what exactly is a postmodern horror flick? Well, to phrase it my way (‘cause with words like “postmodern,” or “meta,” or “avantgarde,” someone never hesitates to tell me I’m using it wrong), it’s like going into a horror picture that has assumed you’ve already seen every horror movie before, and they play on that. This ‘genre’ has to evolve with time, and so I’m writing about the state of the genre in the now, not about what it used to be. What it used to be, it isn’t, and though what it is will change, for now, it’s something…