CHECK OUT OUR STORE!

 

web res 11x17 Marilynweb res Killer in Drag 11x17Attention Horror Host Lovers and Creature Feature fans…Do you need something weird for your castle walls or treasury? Please visit Dixie Dellamorto Lobo’s recently reactivated Etsy shop. There you will find orginal art and official CINEMA INSOMNIA WITH MR. LOBO goodies.
MR. LOBO 8x10s

Just like in the CINEMA INSOMNIA shop, There are Autographed 8x10s featuring Mr. Lobo of the Nationally syndicated late night Horror Host Program, Cinema Insomnia. These 8×10’s are personally signed by Mr. Lobo himself and are made out to you! When buying this listing, please message us to let us know who to have Mr. Lobo make it out to! A must have for a Cinema Insomnia Fan!

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And if you are a fan you should Join the Sleepless Knights of Insomnia!

CINEMA INSOMNIA FAN CLUB KIT
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Lifetime Membership includes: PLASTIC Decoder Member Card, Certificate of Membership, 2.25 in “Cinema Insomnia Fan Club” Pin-back Button Badge, Signed Large 8X10, 4X6 Black and White Photo of Mr. Lobo,.AND other random goodies not mentioned above.

Best of all you will be an official CINSOMNIAC…or a SLEEPLESS KNIGHT OF INSOMNIA!

Be sure to watch CINEMA INSOMNIA on our new internet based channel OSI 74 launching in October.

MONSTER MADHOUSE OSI 74 PROMO POSTER

This poster designed by Mr. L0B0 is the first of a series of fundraisers for the channel. It features “THE MOST ACTION PACKED TV HORROR HOST SHOW IN THE WORLD !!”…Not CINEMA INSOMNIA, but MONSTER MADHOUSE!

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This 11×17 inch high quality poster print includes a flexible plastic sleeve for protection. This image is a print version of the MONSTER MADHOUSE OSI 74 promo piece. The host of MONSTER MADHOUSE, KARLOS BORLOFF is generously donating 100% of the profits into data storage and delivery costs for the channel. The print is suitable for framing and would be at home hanging on the wall in your Game Room, Den, or in the dungeon! This print is signed and dated by the artist upon request. Be the first Monster Kid in the Madhouse to own it! Thanks for supporting OSI 74 and MONSTER MADHOUSE!

Something for you vampires…Dixie Dellamorto’s internet famous and often bootleged design…

STAY YOUNG THE VAMPIRE WAY

“Drink this much Human Blood Every Day! — Drink a full big glass of Human Blood every single day to get plenty of B Negative — one thing your undead body doesn’t store up. Stay young the Vampire way! “

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11×17 inch high quality poster print which includes a flexible plastic sleeve for protection. This image is an original acrylic painting by Dixie Dellamorto which has been modified to mimic a vintage advertising art. The print is suitable for framing and would be at home hanging on the wall in your Game Room, Kitchen, or the wall of the Blood bank! This print is signed and dated by the artists. Be the first Crazy in your city to own it!

Every misunderstood Movie has it’s day and you may enjoy this…

ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK(1981) INSPIRED PRINT

The Futuristic year is 1997.
New York City is a Maximum Security Prison. A Master Criminal’s Mission:
Rescue the Captive U.S. President

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11×17 inch high quality poster print which includes a flexible plastic sleeve for protection. This image is an original digital illustration by Dixie Dellamorto. The print is suitable for framing and would be at home hanging on the wall in your Game Room, Den, or the War Room of the Duke of New York! This print is signed and dated by the artist. Be the first Crazy in your city to own it!

 

THERE IS MUCH MORE TO SEE IN THE ETSY SHOP…

If you’re willing–Come by and pick up something for your weirder self…

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You could do worse…much worse. web res 11x17 jailhouse rot

 

Put on your 3-D Glasses! Creature Features Bob Wilkins Interviews Christopher Lee in the Great Beyond

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–by MR. LOBO of CINEMA INSOMNIA

SIR CHRISTOPHER LEE arrived in the kingdom of infinity looking well. He is obviously enjoying his vacation after a lifetime of intense work entertaining us fans of Fantastika in classic Hammer Horror films like THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN(1957), HORROR OF DRACULA(1958),  and THE MUMMY(1959) and Summer block-busters from the STAR WARS and LORD OF THE RINGS film franchises. He even played WILLY WONKA‘s father in the TIM BURTON film, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY(2005). And Misunderstood Movie fans will remember his roles in POLICE ACADEMY 7: MISSION TO MOSCOW(1994) and the big budget comedy bomb 1941(1979).
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Whitout a doubt, LEE is best loved as DRACULA, as he played the dark vampire prince in a number of sequels up into the early 1970s. However, he played many other iconic characters, co-starring in THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES(1959), and made numerous “non-PC” appearances as FU MANCHU before that was a thing. And who could forget THE PRIVATE LIFE OF SHERLOCK HOMES(1970), THE THREE MUSKETEERS(1973), and Bond film MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN(1974). Lee appeared on the San Francisco Bay Area TV show CREATURE FEATURES to promote that film and was first interviewed by the host of that show, MR. LOBO’s mentor, BOB WILKINS.

“SIR” BOB and SIR CHRISTOPHER  met again today on a cloud of star-stuff that quickly formed itself into a facsimile of a TV Studio.

Bob puffed his cigar and told him how much he would be missed down on earth by us Creature Feature fans and movie fans in general. Mr. Lee was tickled when Bob informed him that CINEMA INSOMNIA is celebrating Mummy month and that we have been sharing many images of him as KHARIS THE MUMMY all over the internet. MR. LOBO will even be presenting HORROR HOTEL AKA CITY OF THE DEAD as part of the new CINEMA INSOMNIA season coming this fall on OSI 74. Bob presented Lee with an original tribute Count Dracula drawing by CI fan and artist DAVID HARDY. He smiled at all the praise and gracefully shook his head.  countLee

He then reminded Bob that he would never play DRACULA again.  But of course, he doesn’t have to…DRACULA IS FOREVER. CREATURE FEATURES ARE FOREVER.  Thank you, SIR CHRISTOPHER LEE for all your fine work. We miss you already! We still miss you, too, Bob!

–MR. LOBO

3-D Pictures by Scott Moon!

Who is this Host?

argoman3While watching a bootleg DVD of Argoman Mr. Lobo and Dixie started noticing these weird subliminal blips… Finally Mr. Lobo was able to stop it just in time to see this guy in a Video Store:

IMG_20150327_004610_719[1]IMG_20150327_012157_547[1]They saw him several times, he cut in something like 12 times. Finally a bug came up for a split second which said “WNBC-TV New York 4″. Any New Yorkers know who this guy is? Looks like it’s from the late 80’s or early 90’s. Here he is looking “cool”:

The Town That Dreaded Sundown

Cosmic Fred

Better Viewing Through Cosmic Cognizance By Fred E. Frederick
(a.k.a. Cosmic Charlie)

Gooooooood morning Vietnam, and the rest of the world. Freddy Fred Frederick here, with a review of the proto-slasher classic known as The Town That Dreaded Sundown. The 1976 one, not the 2014 remake, which should just go without the-town-that-dreaded-sundown-postersaying, but I said it anyways. The film is one of those “based on a true story” deals, where the names of people and places were changed to protect the innocent. The events it’s based off took place in texas in the 40s, by a murderer known as ‘the Phantom Killer’, but if you didn’t know that, you might assume that the movie is based on the Zodiac killer who’s spree ended only a few years before the creation of this movie and is very similar in it’s events and and the killer’s executions of his executions.

It’s not a gore filled frightfest like you get from movies like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, which came out two years prior, but instead seems more like an episode of Law & Order with a very serious narration that also adds a clinical feel to the events and makes them easier to deal with as it comes across more like cold and hard facts rather than experiencing the emotional turmoil of the victims. Not that it isn’t without its terrifying parts, but if it weren’t based on a true story, you’d probably think the writers were lazier than people who use remotes for their air conditioners. It’s full of the cliché about teenagers at make out point getting their comeuppance from a sexually frustrated man in a stupid mask, but with a whole lot less flair than we’re used to seeing from this killer’s 80’s era successors.

Teenagers? Yeah right!

Risking death to get to third base, which in the 40s meant looking at a girl’s ankle.

Instead of following a group of stupid kids around and betting on who will be next, and what will be left of them, this movie is about the whole town and how it reacts to the fear of a masked killer on the loose. Gun sales go through the roof, which, it being Texas, is either surprising that these people aren’t already armed to the teeth, or not surprising because buying a new gun is like getting a fresh loaf of bread to these people. Not that this deters the killer, who’s rampage continues because teenagers just can’t stop making out in cars in secluded locations. See parents, this is what happens when you don’t let your daughter close her door when she has boys over. So kids, next time your parents tell you they don’t want you having a baby, just ask them if they’d rather you be brutally murdered by a man wearing a pillow case on his head. It’s one or the other folks. Or both.

TTDS_04033.NEFAs it turns out though, not just good people can buy guns, and windows can be seen through from both sides, and the side that’s well lit is probably easier to observe and thus aim a gun at. Also, if someone asks you if they heard something outside, you might want to start making peace with your god, cause, you know. So after actions that I just alluded to take place, the whole town decides to board up their windows, because if there’s anything psychotic killers can’t stand, it’s wood. Also, why is it that anytime someone starts assaulting and murdering horny teenagers while wearing a mask, people always assume it’s a white male? That’s discrimination people, and I thought we were better than this. Why couldn’t it be a chinese toddler, or how about a purple octogenarian? Huh? HUH? Tell me that America! Or should I say, CANADA! No wait, I am in America. Ok, nevermind, sorry about that.

Make out point isn't just for teenagers.

Make out point isn’t just for teenagers.

The film closes with the killer never being caught, and leaving us all wondering if he’s still out there now, even though he has most certainly died from old age at this point, unless killing all those young kids gives him special powers of immortality. Hrmmm, makes you think doesn’t it? Or maybe you’ve already moved on to thinking about what kind of pinball machine this movie would make? Well, since it’s from 1976, it would have to be one of the more dull machines, like Jive Time, that’s just a bunch of stationary crap that doesn’t do anything special other than give you a few buzzes and bings, much like the movie itself. But perhaps you like your leisurely pursuits to be more straightforward and without all the bells and whistles, in which case, you go have fun eating some rice cakes and watching C-SPAN, Mister Borey McBorington the third.

The Evil Dead

Cosmic Fred

poster evil deadBetter Viewing Through Cosmic Cognizance By Fred E. Frederick
(a.k.a. Cosmic Charlie)

In my climactic installment of a weeklong litanious set of reviews of movies starring the colossus of clout (the colossus of clout!) Bruce Campbell, I have chosen to take it back to where it all began: The Evil Dead, the ultimate experience in grueling terror. Possibly the greatest depiction of some of the greatest clichès in horror and done with a budget that challenges Clerks for the greatest cheapest film ever made (naw, Little Shop Of Horrors still reigns supreme, god bless you, Roger Corman). It made Bruce Campbell a star (not really) gave Sam Raimi a career (sort of) and still stands among the most eccentric horror B-movies, having an almost Plan 9 From Outer Space vibe that leaves the average viewer feeling left out of the joke that they aren’t getting. Well fear not, huddled masses, I have come to safely explain the nuances of a film that I would gladly take a bullet for. Please make me take a bullet for it. Please?

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So comtemplative

I don’t want to insult anybody here, but if there’s someone out there who took The Evil Dead at face value and actually considers it “the ultimate experience in grueling terror” they should get their head checked. Right from the get go, this film has all the markings of a bunch of nerds got together and made a horror movie they’ve wanted to make since they were fifteen. The acting is atrocious right off the bat, and is practically at the edge of being self-aware. I mean, really, the Brad in this movie is more pathetically played than Brad from Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Barry Bostwick was doing that shit on purpose. Maybe it’s out of place for me to voice a personal opinion here (everything I write is scientifically derived from a movie review formula given to me by Chinese magicians who stole it from the ancient temple of Cinema Obscura) but I’m very disappointed that this film didn’t get a midnight movie party madness with yelling at the screen and throwing toast when Bruce makes his horrible toast. It fit so perfectly. I really wish that had happened, but then again there’s no musical numbers, so no dancing in the aisles.

Does the film have any faults? Well how do you judge faults in a film full of fractures of a funny fancy? I mean, the piece of the bridge falling off that was obviously not part of the bridge, the moon with it’s square outline, the “an animal? hahaha…” line, it’s all ungodly bad, but in just the right way. There are some bad BAD films out there folks, that do not entertain in any way and leave you feeling like you just watched nothing happen, which is kinda scary in itself, but still not enjoyable to watch. I think most films are afraid of seeming silly, so instead they pack in boring dialogue and try for realism by having nothing interesting happen.

biteEvil Dead’s success is spawned from the inches it stands away from being a cartoon. The idea of being just under over-the-top is nowhere to be found, as Deadites screech and scream and makes noises that would make Marilyn Manson blush. The makeup is amazing, and is one of the few elements in the film that isn’t cheap and humorous, but actually kinda terrifying and very uncomfortable looking. The film actually does turn into a cartoon at the end with some Dynamation the likes of which no Ray Harryhausen film has ever seen. In fact, the end of this film really does turn into something that I’m pretty sure had never really been seen before. It’s like they took the director from an Adam West Batman episode and then had an actor who had actually been tortured and abused, with burns and blood from Ted Raimi’s hand coming out of the floorboards and gashing Bruce’s face (look ma, real blood!). The looks on Bruce’s face and the noises and shadows that surround him virtually immerse you in the surreal realm of a demon’s dollhouse. That’s really the best way to describe the kind of shenanigans that occur throughout the film, imagine you’re a demonic otherworldly creature whose presence is yanked into our dimension but is stuck in the vicinity of this terrible cabin in the middle of the woods, and now, here come some stupid teenagers to stay in the cabin for a weekend of sex, alcohol, and ignoring one’s sister, what would you do?

chainsawIt’s not the relentless insanity of the second film, or the action-adventure nature of Army of Darkness. The Evil Dead is a pure horror movie whose reputation is only surpassed by the glory of it’s viewing. Really, I don’t think you can over-hype this movie as the ultimate B-horror film. It’s so much more entertaining than Plan 9, and plus, it’s in color!

Bubba Ho-Tep

Cosmic FredBetter Viewing Through Cosmic Cognizance By Fred E. Frederick
(a.k.a. Cosmic Charlie)

It’s Friday night, and the mood is right, to get freaky with some Bubba Ho-Tep, possibly the high water point of Bruce Campbell’s acting abilities on film. Bubba-poster yeahTo compact this film into a general description is to sound like an insane person and probably keep people from hanging out with you. In summary, it’s the time honored classic tale of a man who might be Elvis is rotting away in a retirement home with his friend who is JFK but in a black man’s body and they’re being attacked by a mummy who has a taste for old people’s souls. Ya know, that, thing.

From the mind that brought you four Phantasm movies and three BeastMaster things (he wasn’t actually involved in II and III, but I’ll blame him anyway) comes a heartfelt tale about what happens before you die. Not in the stabby stab “but I had my whole life ahead of me! NOOOO!!!” way, but rather in the “you know, Donald Trump offered my grandson a job yesterday in my front yard last night,” kinda slowly losing your mind because you’re not Tony Bennett, NONE OF US ARE TONY BENNETT!!! Seriously though, that guy can sing, and is still doing so at 86!!!! So yeah, that’s amazing, but I got news for you folks, that aint gonna be most of us. For what you are going to look and feel like in those golden years (whop whop whop) look no further than today’s hero Sebastian Haff (or Elvis, depending on how you look at it).  He’ll let you hear him say life’s taking him nowhere (Ang-gel!).

In a genre filled with over the top theatrics and cheap thrills, Don Coscarelli has kept it real by making it fresh with his genius ingenuity stuffed into tales of imagination roasted over flames of fascination. But hey, don’t take my word for it… or wait, do, since that’s why you’re here. There’s some fun in having a different director for each film in a series, but Don is the George Romero variety of filmmaker who gets to write and direct all the films in his series of weird horror that started with his 1979 film Phantasm. Other than The Beastmaster, which he only made the first one of, Don hasn’t done much of note outside his Phantasms other than the not-so-long-ago movie John Dies At The End (which I still haven’t seen, shame shame I know) and of course, the ever-loved Bubba Ho-Tep.

bubba_hotep_Ok, chances are you’ve already heard about this movie from a friend who may have also tried to show some of it to you and you thought A. What the hell is this? and/or B. Why am I watching this? Well, for starters, this is a movie starring Bruce “Elvis” Campbell and the legendary Ossie “I’m famous for actual good acting” Davis as two old men in an old man buddy comedy that puts I’m Not Rappaport to shame. As for why, I’m glad you asked. This film has all the tones of an old man coughing a joke to you while starting to laugh and cough harder to the point where you’re more concerned about the old man coughing than the stupid joke you had already heard before. This is also assuming that you’re a decent human being and aren’t standing there screaming “DIE OLD MAN, DIE!!!” and you actually did care about this old timer’s health. If not, you probably aren’t going to get into this movie. This film is for that crazy part in all our brains that reminds us that we will always be the heroes in our heads and hearts, no matter how crazy or hate filled we may be. It’s a heartstrings tugging tale of redemption and humanity told through the eyes of those forgotten but not yet gone. It’s also about a mummy.bubba_hotep_monster

Bubba Ho-Tep is the name of a Texas mummy who comes to life at night and lives off of the souls it sucks from unsuspecting senior citizens and it’s up to a man who is either Elvis gone into hiding as an Elvis impersonator to escape the perils of success, or he’s an Elvis impersonator who’s kinda wedged his brain, with some help from a little dementia, into believing he’s the real Elvis. Either way, his career ended after he broke his hip falling off a stage during a show, and now he’s hanging out with an elderly black gentleman who is either actually John F. Kennedy, the 35th president of these United States of ‘Merica who was secretly turned into a black man by the government to get rid of him instead of just making him dead, or he’s a crazy old man and, well I think you get it. Maybe that helps you understand the kind of movie this is, or maybe you’re more confused now than before. Either way, I’ve done my job, because we both know you either already love this movie, or are looking forward to loving it thanks to this review and are already putting your boots on and grabbing your coat and hat while still somehow reading this in order to go buy the film. Either way, I’m a happy man, relatively at least.

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Screams In The Night by NIGHT DEMON

The Official Video for Screams In The Night by NIGHT DEMON was released today and it’s rad! It features comic book art by the very talented James Dufresne and colored by our very own Dixie Dellamorto!

il_570xN.656197132_o03tKeep an eye out for James Dufresne’s upcoming comic book called Blood Sacrifice.

Until then, you can check out more killer art in his Zine called Dream Evil Vol.1; Movie Monsters, Maniacs and Madmen available HERE!

Suspiria

Cosmic Fred
Better Viewing Through Cosmic Cognizance By Fred E. Frederick
(a.k.a. Cosmic Charlie)
What is a review?
What’s inside us that makes us need to vent our opinions on subjects in which we consider ourselves something of an expert on? Certainly you have to love what you’re reviewing – when it’s done well, that is. But what about those times when you go to a fancy restaurant that all your friends love and you can tell the food is done well, but it’s just not your cup of tea? Not literally, it’s not like a tea room or something. Or maybe it is. The name of this tea room is Suspiria, and while I enjoy their crumpets, I have to admit that I am left bored and unimpressed by their tea.“Woah, did he just dis Susperia?”No, I love Norwegian black/thrash metal.“Huh?”Just so we’re on the same page here, there’s SuspIria the movie, and there’s SuspEria the band, named after the movie, but with the letter change for copyright issues. And no, actually, they aren’t that good. And yes, actually, they suck, moving on then…

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I don’t dislike Suspiria, with it’s vivid colors and distinct atmosphere all it’s own. Released in the same year that Stars were having Wars with each other, and directed by legendary Italian director Dario Argento, the film is highly regarded for its harsh, early, and stylized murder scene, and for the uneasy feeling the film continues to give you afterward. Now, I’m not saying that that’s all the film has, but the film’s ending is definitely not its strong point.

Let me try to explain without ruining the film for anyone who might plan on seeing it based on my glowing review (oops). The film holds a tension throughout itself like no other movie does, and if you’re a real horror movie fan and not just some freak who likes watching people murdered while wearing his mothers clothes (or your father’s clothes, if you’re an insane woman. Wait, is that how that works? Or do you just smear lipstick all over your face and say “Baby pretty now Momma? BABY PRETTY NOW?!?!”) then you know that horror is all about suspense. There’s that looming danger and you think you know what will happen, but then it doesn’t and something else does and then your little brother says he’s bored and you’re like, “Then you aren’t paying attention, spaz!”.

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But for me, this film doesn’t pay off in the ways that Rosemary’s Baby or Taxi Driver does. It feels like a cheap haunted house at the end, and dampens the experience leading up to it. Yes, there are some awesome and very frightening scenes that involve maggots and blind men and plenty of spooky music with smooth camera movement, but the end of the film doesn’t fit the caliber established by those scenes. It’s not a total letdown, like, it’s not as if things don’t happen. In the end, I prefer the ridiculous and outlandish events than, say, just some dude in a cloak explaining everything with a smirk and a girl screaming ‘NOOOOOOOO!’ and then breaking a kerosene lamp which burns the whole place down in a matter of seconds, which you don’t actually see. I was just describing Satan’s School For Girls there, a movie too bad for me to even give a review.

The other big seller of this film is it’s lead actor and protagonist, Jessica Harper. She has a great quality to her that lends itself to the mystery and fear, and allows you to empathize with a character who you can see is going through some stress. This includes when she’s surrounded by actresses who probably did a porn or two (hey, haven’t we all? I’m looking your way Sly Stallone) and aren’t really selling their characters, or just coming off as bitchy since that’s the only tone they can achieve. It lets Jessica shine through as the person who can actually display a spectrum of emotions that are believable and relatable. She kinda reminds me of Ellen Page, who even mentions Suspiria in her film Juno, which is one of the many reasons I disliked her snarky sarcastic and desensitized character in that film (horror buffs hate when some cute girl just likes a horror movie cause it’s the goriest thing she’s ever seen, or we love it because then we can say “oh really?” and pull out Dead Alive or Cannibal Holocaust and watch her face turn white).

suspiria photo

I wish I could say Jessica went on to bigger and better things, but I’m afraid the SHOCK TREATMENT she received in 1980 wasn’t quite a success, though I have been told the movie can grow on you (sorry, but, no Tim Curry, me no care. I mean, c’mon, I can deal with no Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick, even though I do love them quite a lot, but Tim MADE Rocky Horror what it was, and not having him come back as, lik,e a Frank-N-Furter clone or something was the nail on the coffin of that one for me. Also, if you have no idea what I’m talking about, then it’s probably best you forget everything I’ve just said and get on with you life already). It’s still fun to watch her sing.

I know someone is going to tell me I don’t appreciate this movie enough and that to say the ending is anticlimactic or that the middle part of the film gets boring is sacrilege, or that I didn’t even mention the amazing score by the band Goblin whose music would appear the next year in Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, which Argento edited for European distribution and included more music from Goblin for… but I have now, and then some, so get off my back! Really though, Goblin is to Suspiria as John Williams is to Star Wars. Not to mention the number of goth musicians created while viewing this films with its completely engrossing score. Possibly my favorite scene in the whole movie is the blind man in the deserted square, where nothing is happening, but because of the music, we feel total fear. However besides those amazing parts, most of the film is not as enthralling.

Goblin

So maybe you think I’m wrong for my benign feelings on Suspiria, but alas, it my review, so I don’t have to care about what you think, or don’t think, or thought, or shall think again, because that’s what I have trolls/gremlins/goblins living in my ears for. Plus, how can I like a movie that shows us a killer committing a murder at the beginning, and never reveals who that killer was? Sure, we find out who the masterminds were, and that magic was used, but whose arm is that? The world may never know. GOODNITE EVERYBODY!

An American Werewolf in London

Cosmic FredBetter Viewing Through Cosmic Cognizance By Fred E. Frederick
(a.k.a. Cosmic Charlie)

There’s a place in our soul that we try to fill by extending our understanding of ourselves beyond the realms of reality, looking instead to the nether regions of our minds where the abyss stares back into the eternal darkness of our expanding consciousness. Then there’s images attached to celluloid accompanied by audio bits that synch up with the visual bits and form something we’ve come to call a movie. An American Werewolf In London is one of these movies.

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If you’re like me, you know that in America’s present exists in the late seventies and early eighties, before that is the past, after that is the future. So this film takes place in a constant state of ‘now’ like many of the films of those eras produced. I realize you might think I’m biased or that the idea of a present existence in the past is ludicrous, but you are wrong. Just flat out wrong. Like, you are Steven Spielberg in 1979 saying “I think we’ve got a good picture here!” That’s how wrong you are, and I feel bad for you.

Speaking of feeling bad, have you ever backpacked across the moors while in England and been attacked by a naked psychopath? If you answered yes, then you probably shouldn’t read the rest of this review. The man known as John Landis helms what could be considered a horror-comedy picture, but ends up just being more horrifying due to the realism it brings. No, this is no Evil Dead II, but there is a talking corpse that cracks a joke or two while his lycanthropic friend sweats in fear and terror. I really have to hand it to David Naughton, fresh off his stint of being a pepper, who plays David and gives a performance that’s makes you feel like you’re him. You really identify with the way he addresses his lot in the film, trying to get arrested, the dream sequences featuring the Muppets (one of two Frank Oz appearances in the film, technically), the waking up naked in a zoo and having to steal balloons from a little boy in order to cover your shame ’til you get back to the English nurse’s (who you’ve been shacking up with) house. I REALLY identified with that last part.

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This movie has it all, some beautiful character development, some early-on and horrifying violence against one of our two, count them, two, not a group of people who would never hang out together lest it be for a horror movie, but two protagonists, and what every horror movie needs, NUDITY! And it’s actually tastefully done and not just a half porn. Perhaps this film’s most glorifying element would be the iconic transformation scene which made this film the Star Wars of werewolf movies. Besides also inspiring Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ Video, the transformation scene is legendary because it not only holds up all these years later, but is easily still more convincing than any over-blown CGI transformations that have undoubtedly replaced the king, Rick Baker’s, mechanisms. The film not only won an award for Outstanding Achievement in Makeup, but was also the reason the award was invented, and therefore the first movie to win such an award.

AWWIL3

I love when directors switch genres like Landis did. he had just had a string of hits with Kentucky Fried Movie, Animal House, and Blues Brothers before he decided to take a somewhat more serious route, and it turned out to be the right move. Not so much for a Mr. Spielberg, who after hits like Jaws and Close Encounters decided to turn to comedy for 1941, which turned out to be the wrong move. But Landis couldn’t have had the amazing success without all the amazing makeup effects that Baker afforded him. The way Jack, as a talking corpse, gets more and more decayed in subsequent appearances, is subtle, but integral as a reminder of our own inevitable demise to the black void of decay as our shell deteriorates without a working heart to pump vital fluids to it’s extremities and is finally laid to dust as the wind blows us across the sands of time where we’ll rest in eternity, as our descendants enjoy the thrill of fear perceived by the films that spout off about our miserable fate. So strap in and enjoy An American Werewolf In London, and remember, never tell your dead friend he looks like a meatloaf. It’s just bad manners.

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