Letters to the Head-Eater

Hey HHCF Magazine,

There are a lot of Horror Hosts out there. I want to know what the Criteria for being a Horror Host is, anyway? It’s getting harder and harder to tell...

– Johnny Fakename

Greetings Mr. Fakename ( if that IS your real name ),

It’s easy to be confused or frustrated as we’re dealing with something that didn’t need to be specifically defined before. Local TV vs. Regional vs. Syndicated vs. National vs. Cable vs. Access vs. Satellite vs. Home Video vs. Internet vs. Anthologies vs. Spook Shows vs. Movies vs. Radio vs. Comic Books. Like many activities it’s a hobby and a profession. A guy who plays Tennis in his backyard is playing the same game as John McEnroe, Andre Agassi, or Venus Williams but he’s not automatically entitled to respect among fans and historians. Writers Write, Singers Sing, Hosts Host…hosting alone does not make you notable but it does make you a host.

                                                Your HHCF Publisher,
                                                Mr. Lobo

Fans have voiced their opinions on what it takes to be a Horror Host!


“You as a host need to be as good or better than the movie”
-Rob McCarthy (Comedy Writer)

“I think the secret to hosting, to ALL hosting of any subject matter, is that the host makes a connection with the viewer. You are not just watching a re-run or old crappy movie, we are watching it WITH you and we’re having fun together.”
-Matthew Pak

“Sense of humor and ability to laugh at yourself, know pop culture and not just horror flicks, no politics or religion as you’ll lose viewers no matter which way
you go, create an original character and not one modeled on someone else,
you don’t even need makeup,
Cool music never hurt either. Reminds me of
They were asked “What if people don’t get it?”
They said, “The right people will get it.”

-Heidi Crabtree

“Being a Horror Host is good for those who want to entertain others either thru
fear, laughter or both. They should study the old films and books of both fiction
and non, be a folklorist, story teller and lover of the ways of monsters and you too will find who you are and wear the
“hat” and “cape” or whatever makes you–YOU, and then just BE. Sometimes a good catch phrase helps, so
“Keep Screaming”

-Bobby Gammonster (Internet Horror Host)


“The sure fire way to tell if YOU are A REAL “Horror Host” …. You have a FAN that at one time “loved” and “idolized” you who later decides THEY TOO want to be a Horror Host, and believe that somehow somewhere along the way YOU have forgotten the TRUE meaning of what it is to be A “Horror Host”. And so, then THEY decide that THEY will ascend to YOUR “high lofty position” and inherit all the “acclaim”, “wealth”, and “recognition” due THEM. THEN, THEY turn around and attack YOU (mostly online).
-Dug Graves (Radio Horror Host)





We invite you to join in. Please tell us YOUR criteria for HORROR HOST.
What qualities do you think are essential?

6 thoughts on “Letters to the Head-Eater

  1. “I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.” by E. M. Forster.

  2. Woah this blog is great i really like studying your articles. Stay up the great work! You already know, lots of individuals are searching round for this information, you could aid them greatly.

  3. Well, as a horror host myself, I know cannot ever be totally objective and I rely on Dixie and others to keep Mr. Lobo in check as far as this Horror Host Magazine project is concerned. I did not realize I was talking to an alter-ego of an established host until I was informed by Dixie. It is ALL completely subjective and often the guy playing “Tennis” in his backyard is a better player than most of the so-called “professionals”. Our personal subjective editorial criteria for publishing(which may have been what you were initially asking about) are as follows: #1) It has to be interesting to read. #2) It has to have good photos or have dynamic art. #3)We prefer hosts do not write directly about their own shows. Sorry again for offending you…we’d love to have you on the team as you know more than most on the subject.

  4. Thank you Mr. Lobo. Thank you also for inviting me to response. Please allow me to apologize to you for being too overly reactionary with my comment above.

  5. Greetings Joel,
    I feel badly that you were offended. I was saddened that your original question had disappeared from our facebook page because I thought it was an excellent and intelligent question. Our editor did indeed paraphrase your question and made up a letter, because we felt a lot of people may want to know what our criteria is. However, we still do not know what YOUR criteria is or why you were offended by our opinions. We opened it up to our readers so that we could get some feedback. We want to know what others think. Everything written so far has been in good spirit and was not intended to marginalize or attack anyone. Again I apologize for being offensive, but I’m glad you came forward to tell us how you feel.
    -Curious in California

  6. This “letter” is a fabrication based on a post I made on the Magazines FB page yesterday. This not the original post I made and is paraphrased based on the authors memory of the post. I also did not sign it “Curious in Kansas”, which is insulting. I deleted the original post because I thought the response was ridiculous and offensive. My post was just to ask a question and you turn it around to use it to misrepresent and offend me.

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